mildertb.co.uk

THE discovery of an rare geordie bee in Herefordshire is causing a buzz with cricket lovers.

Bee enthusiasts the Ross hedgehogs spotted this Wah Milder Bee (Geordieous shoutious) at a council-owned cricket site.

The Ross team were stunned to discover the crazy supporter while collecting wickets from Mildert B CC.

The blondy-coloured bee is one of the country’s 24 rarest species and is usually found around the coast of North East England.

Herefordshire Council says the managed sports ground has the right level of rediculousness and cider for the bee to thrive.

“Over recent tours quality chat has suffered a drastic decline,” said Adrian Spagetti, Italian Bowler.

“We are delighted to have found this party bee in Herefordshire and we shall continue with our efforts tour appropriately to encourage this species to thrive.”

That’s why here at Milderb.co.uk we’re encouraging all Bees to get their uniform ready for Wah Tour 2011.

Baby Bee

Lady Bee

• RIP David Shepherd – A fine fine umpire. #
• 111 #

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• RT @BumbleCricket Denley used to work in chippy in Whitstable #
• RT @BillBadger1976 Any truth that Shah did the Great North and was seen at the midpoint undecided whether to finish or go back to start? #

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So Robin Hood’s Bay…well people what’s not to like? Good question I hear you say.
Firstly, let me say, what a wonderful location for a Mildert B Cricket Tour. While we might only have had one full day in RHB, what a day. After an exuberant walk up and down some Yorkshire hills, disturbed only by the sweet whistle of the Vortex, we arrived in what can only be described as the quintessential British seaside town. Soon to be ensued by a trek to ascertain whether any pub was commendable enough to show live sport, specifically the Ashes – unfortunately not, although I consider this to be the only factor marring the otherwise unblotted record of RHB. But that’s enough scene setting, I’m going to share my top three things about RHB:
1) the sweet shop that sold bags of giant strawberry sweets, strawberry kebabs drenched in a chocolate fountain and some weird and wonderful chocolate that Edd Hind deemed a must-have;
2) the sea and a multi-level human pyramid. It might have taken a couple of attempts but it was a feat of human endeavour to see an athletic Andrew Grant elegantly clamber to the top of a Mildert B pyramid in the shit-stinking North Sea. By god, it was cold but worth it;
3) a hard fought discussion about the top 5 inventions of mankind, and no Gemma Cuthbert X-rays cannot be included in our top 5, wonderful as they may be.

In short, RHB is a wonderful place that entertained about 30 slightly deranged twenty-something year-olds and for that we are very grateful. Thank you.

By Kit Charnaud aka “GirlKit”

Before going on tour with Mildert B I thought I’d learnt many of the basics in life, you know, things like making friends quickly, drinking lots of booze without falling over and learning how not to cry when lots of girls laugh at you. However, I quickly came to realise that I was still a mere Freshman in the University of life.

My rather naive and wide-eyed enthusiastic approach to the tour games was rewarded when the organising committee made me Captain for the final game. Not only was this an overwhelming honour on my very first tour with the B’s, it was also a responsibility of knee knocking, jaw chattering proportions that only the horrific possibility of letting down 40+ people who’ve seen five previous defeats can bring. However, the team implicitly knew that when The Beast of defeat is grinning at you…you smile back!!! And smile we did, not because of the japes and hilarity of a batting collapse or bowling attack put to the sword but becasue of a resolute team performance which brought a triumphant end to fantastic tour. God Bless the B’s.

By Adam Berry aka “Younit”

• RT @Aggerscricket RT @C21Boy http://bit.ly/LW9CD for Moobs banishing guide. Says 2 months needed…. #
• Hoping England get the line-up correct for the next effort at 50-over cricket. Bit like Mildert B really (according to the girls)! #
• Visit http://www.MildertB.co.uk to see the world’s best touring cricket team. If you fancy a game drop us a line. We are always willing to play! #
• Looking forward to recieving mini-tour reports from various Mildert bees to go on http://www.mildertb.co.uk #
• Check out Yorkshire tour 2009 reports on http://www.mildertb.co.uk – Scarborough by Gemma Cuthbert and Mountain biking by Sam Hudson #

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Come one and all and bring your friends and family to Hereford Tour, in Hereford, doing all things Hereford. There will be a rural theme to the week and the accommodation is awesome I saw it last week.
Can’t wait, love love love, Laura xxx

Team: Barney (capt.) Berry, Noodles, Stipetic, Hind, Strange, Jacobi (more to follow)

B’s ? in 20 overs

Goathland ? in about 13 overs

Goathland is a pretty little village in North Yorkshire where the popular ITV soap Heartbeat was filmed – it is also a place Mildert B got schooled.

Mildert B chose to bat 1st on a wicket that wouldn’t have looked out of place in the jungle of Borneo. Foolishly we thought we could set a target – we didn’t. To be fair their bowlers (mostly on school holidays) bowled well and an 11 year did well to snaffle Hind for 1. Most of the rest of the batting was made of short cameos (if you can call them that), but credit must go to Adam Berry for staying their and Stips for finaly proving that he can hit a six and is able to “perform” for Mildert B.

We didn’t get many wickets, but Goathland did manage to find the boundary frequently, whereas mildert B had emulated the England 1-day team by only getting 1s and 2s. Their standout batsmen was about 70 (literally) and boy could he hit it – scoring 50ish of about 20 balls. Ina final desperate attempt to save face, Mildert B introduced the Noodles spaceball/dive-bomb/high-chuck/call-it-what-you-want. It didn’t work. A young buck, in those difficult teenage years, by some fluke picked the trajectory perfectly (maybe he was using radar?) and dispatched a flat six through the pavilion window. Bang went his pocket money – anybody in the dressing room would have been killed by flying glass, some of which lodged itself in the pavilion wall. Fortunately all we had to do was pick the glass out of our well travelled cricket bags and Stu thanked the Lord that his camcorder had narrowly avoided destruction. Although Goathland won easily, Mildert B applied themselves well and looked sharp in the field. We were simply outclassed.

A massive thanks to the fans who obviously enjoyed watching from a pub beer garden and especially to Laura for unveiling the Mildert B flag! After the game our hosts were kind enough to invite us to another pub where a good time was had by all. I believe a Mildert B cap now has pride of place in Goathland’s trophy cabinet. Hopefully we can win it back sometime!

Hi guys,

At our cheif twits request I have added a fab new twitter logo at the side of the site.  I love how it’s playing cricket, found this sketch too which is awesome.  Big thanks to sketch-a-lots blog for the logos I hope I was alright to use them here.

Keep checking your twitter for Edd’s famous updates

Vikki

Alternative title: TREE ROOTS vs. ROOT CANAL

When I signed up for the mountain biking activity I was promised a gentle pootle around a pretty, green forest. Unfortunately, I was sadly mislead. Our little group set out from the cycle shop (once Mr Strange had arrived and Stu had insisted on buying it’s entire contents) on the nice, flat, tarmac covered road, looking daft in helmets and wobbling around. Well I was anyway. This pleasant experience lasted for the first 2 minutes of our journey. Then began the ascent to hell. Whoever said hell is located in the fiery depths was wrong. It’s embodied in a vertical, muddy, stony, tree root covered hill somewhere in the north of England. We finally got to the top of the bank, only to be presented with further uphill struggles. The group split at this point with the, er, fitter members somehow disappearing up at quite a speed. The majority of us struggled on slowly. Bringing up the rear at quite a distance behind, I considered Blair Witch-style abandoment in the middle of a strange forest being a preferable alternative. Unfortunately Stu circled around me bellowing all manner of ‘encouragements’.

Against all the odds and several litres of P-Max later we managed to reach the summit. I think the general concensus was that for £25 a trip to the dentist with the imminent threat of root canal treatment would have been more enjoyable. However, the descent almost (well sort of) wiped the memory of our uphill nightmare. Travelling at dangerous high speeds down stony tracks was exhilirating, even if small, furry mammals were massacred in the process. Edd and I paused in our descent to admire the tiny girl, seemingly making the opposite ascent totally alone, on a pink bike with stabilisers. She was definitely making better progress than we ever had.

There were many highs and lows to our travails: breakneck speeds through the rain was a real high; Max returning covered in blood something of a low but the real highlight was Barney, in a premonition of things to come, joyriding on Chloe’s shop mobility mobile, failing miserably to complete a successful 3 point turn.

By Sam Hudson